THE PERPETUAL FIGHT

Like everyone else, I too have a love story. ( or so I like to think) It was crush at first and then things changed eventually.We have been on and off for quite sometimes,however he never fails to show  his interest in me one way or the other . Now here, I’m not saying we are in one of those ” official” relationship. It is kind of online long distance relationship !( does it even exist ?! idk!). We know each other but we haven’t meet !He is ambitious,deep and  quite experienced in dealing with humans ,contrary to my naive ,introverted , socially awkward self . I am like one of those enthusiastic school kids who don’t know much but want to know all about relationships and stuffs! Recently , we started talking yet “again”. Sometimes it feels like we have known each other for eternity ,and some other times we are like two strangers who just started accosting each other ( you know, the initial hii-helo stage) and yet some other times he never replies my messages making me feel ,he was never interested in me ! I have my doubts. He makes sure I don’t know what he , actually is feeling about me.But  then I know he has his doubts too. Every time I try to have a peek at his soul , he messes with my mind ,trying to make me think otherwise , which, most of the people might consider a low key mental abuse . I am pretty optimistic about it so far . I tend to focus on the positive side even though I’m aware of the flip side . I am confused . I am deranged. But guess what ?I like it! I LIKE THE ENIGMA ! The enigma that sets a turmoil in me , leading to a constant parley between my heart and my mind ! My mind sometimes says ” He doesn’t love you .Interested ? May be . ) But my heart says ” He loves you , idiot . ” But then again i ask them both ” WHAT IS LOVE , ANYWAY?”

Heart: what you are feeling right now is love ! ( wide eyes )

Mind: Nooo………….( screams) Love requires the physical presence of the two people involved ,how they care for each other , how they can stand by each other in times of adversity, how they resolve a problem together, how they face the society together , how they get intimate and many more ! You are not in love . You just love the idea of love . You should thank your crush for making you realize this ! ( frowns )

Heart: But i care for him ! May be not that apparently and literally ,but i do .Even if I don’t know what he wants , at least I try to find out and tries to give it too . ( sulks )

Mind: Caring for someone doesn’t work like that . It”s just you want to believe one of the stories I made for you . You don’t even know what he wants ! ( gives an impatient look)

Heart: He wants me ! He wants me to love him to the moon and back and only him . I want to love him too ! ( frowns)

Mind: Damn it ! You are again believing one of the stories I made . I should just stop making stories for you ! ( face palm )

Heart: I KNOW HE LOVES ME ! Why would someone invest so much time on someone ? Why ? ( dreamy eyes)

Mind: Love requires investing time for each other for real , in real life , NOT ON THE INTERNET ! What if he is like that to every other deranged girl like you ?

Heart: I know it’s just me . He never stops making me feel special . He may have thousands other after him but he feels for me only . ( smiles / on the bliss planet )

Mind: LOL! Ever look at yourself ? What could be so special about you ?( lol)

Heart: The fact that I love him with my authentic self and the readiness to do anything that could make me and him both happy . ( smiles)

P.S. The war in on and still going on . Who do you think will win ?* winks* As for me, I don’t know !

 

 

4aaf59bdb816c76e7b2983a48ef907833ecae3f5cef6fb02a3fbfa36274e1cc6

THE PERPETUAL FIGHT

Like everyone else, I too have a love story. ( or so I like to think) It was crush at first and then things changed eventually.We have been on and off for quite sometimes,however he never fails to show  his interest in me one way or the other . Now here, I’m not saying we are in one of those ” official” relationship. It is kind of online long distance relationship !( does it even exist ?! idk!). We know each other but we haven’t meet !He is ambitious,deep and  quite experienced in dealing with humans ,contrary to my naive ,introverted , socially awkward self . I am like one of those enthusiastic school kids who don’t know much but want to know all about relationships and stuffs! Recently , we started talking yet “again”. Sometimes it feels like we have known each other for eternity ,and some other times we are like two strangers who just started accosting each other ( you know, the initial hii-helo stage) and yet some other times he never replies my messages making me feel ,he was never interested in me ! I have my doubts. He makes sure I don’t know what he , actually is feeling about me.But  then I know he has his doubts too. Every time I try to have a peek at his soul , he messes with my mind ,trying to make me think otherwise , which, most of the people might consider a low key mental abuse . I am pretty optimistic about it so far . I tend to focus on the positive side even though I’m aware of the flip side . I am confused . I am deranged. But guess what ?I like it! I LIKE THE ENIGMA ! The enigma that sets a turmoil in me , leading to a constant parley between my heart and my mind ! My mind sometimes says ” He doesn’t love you .Interested ? May be . ) But my heart says ” He loves you , idiot . ” But then again i ask them both ” WHAT IS LOVE , ANYWAY?”

Heart: what you are feeling right now is love ! ( wide eyes )

Mind: Nooo………….( screams) Love requires the physical presence of the two people involved ,how they care for each other , how they can stand by each other in times of adversity, how they resolve a problem together, how they face the society together , how they get intimate and many more ! You are not in love . You just love the idea of love . You should thank your crush for making you realize this ! ( frowns )

Heart: But i care for him ! May be not that apparently and literally ,but i do .Even if I don’t know what he wants , at least I try to find out and tries to give it too . ( sulks )

Mind: Caring for someone doesn’t work like that . It”s just you want to believe one of the stories I made for you . You don’t even know what he wants ! ( gives an impatient look)

Heart: He wants me ! He wants me to love him to the moon and back and only him . I want to love him too ! ( frowns)

Mind: Damn it ! You are again believing one of the stories I made . I should just stop making stories for you ! ( face palm )

Heart: I KNOW HE LOVES ME ! Why would someone invest so much time on someone ? Why ? ( dreamy eyes)

Mind: Love requires investing time for each other for real , in real life , NOT ON THE INTERNET ! What if he is like that to every other deranged girl like you ?

Heart: I know it’s just me . He never stops making me feel special . He may have thousands other after him but he feels for me only . ( smiles / on the bliss planet )

Mind: LOL! Ever look at yourself ? What could be so special about you ?( lol)

Heart: The fact that I love him with my authentic self and the readiness to do anything that could make me and him both happy . ( smiles)

P.S. The war in on and still going on . Who do you think will win ?* winks* As for me, I don’t know !

 

 

4aaf59bdb816c76e7b2983a48ef907833ecae3f5cef6fb02a3fbfa36274e1cc6